We were fine, well as “fine” as two people in our situation will ever be. I love you and you love me, that’ s clear…but you want to rule, you want to dictate and I have spent my life being dictated. Your actions, your statements remind me so much of words that were once spoken by my father, grandfather, uncles, brothers…all the males that I have come across who believe that a woman is but property of theirs, whose only purpose is to serve. I promised myself that I would never be that person, then I realized that I actually liked girls. For the first years I believed that if I was to dress like a boy I should act the way they all did…after becoming someone I hated it became clear that I wanted nothing more than to never resemble any of them. I changed I began treating females the way they deserve. You came along and I made it a point to love you with my whole heart and treat you like a queen. I dropped the ball a few times, but after realizing my mistake I would become better. In your mind I would always be a a monster who once fucked up, in my mind you were a human being dealing with too much. In your mind it was a matter of time before I did something else, in my mind you were perfect but perfection can have flaws. I was willing to forgive anything because that’s what you do when you love how I love you. You couldn’t wait to kick me out of your life. I don’t what I did wrong, when was it that I should’ve put my foot down and told you that we were a couple that you didn’t own me. That you could ask me to do things but not tell me or make me do anything.
In a relationship where there’s two girls, there is a lot of estrogen and strong emotions, jealousy times two, love times two, insecurities times a thousand. It’s all so intense, but I like to think that I tried and tried and I would have kept trying because you were worth it. I have too much to live for…I wish you were by my side
The body is but a vessel for the soul, a puppet which bends to the soul’s tyranny. And lo, the body is not eternal, for it must feed on the flesh of others, lest it return to the dust from whence it came. Therefore must the soul deceive, despise and murder men.
—A.J Durai (via imaginemecosplay)